The Questions I Should Have Asked My Doctor—But Didn’t Know To

Midlife medical care is a crapshoot. I learned the hard way. The least I can do is make it easier for you.

Is this the look your doctor gives you when you ask if your symptoms are related to your hormones?

Let me guess:

You sat across from your doctor—maybe still sweating from the 3 p.m. hot flash that hit during a Zoom call—and said something like:

“I'm tired all the time. I cry during dog food commercials. And my periods? They're basically a surprise party hosted by Satan.”

And your doctor smiled kindly and said,

a.) Do you feel anxious? We can give you something for that.

b.) You seem overwhelmed. Have you tried yoga? It could help you manage your stress.

c.) You’re too young for menopause, so maybe lighten up on the caffeine.

Zero questions answered. Zero relief from the worry and curiosity. 100% frustration.

Dealing with doctors like this is no better than hiring a carnival barker with an oversized shell game. Look here! No, don’t look here! Oops, you missed it! Next!

I don’t know about you, but I was standing in the middle of a hurricane and every medical professional I consulted tried to convince me it wasn’t raining because the sun was technically still above us.

And they wonder why middle-aged women have rage.

Here’s the truth: perimenopause can start YEARS before your period takes a permanent vacation. And most doctors aren’t trained to spot the symptoms, let alone help you manage them. That leaves a lot of women stuck in limbo—confused, dismissed, and wondering if we’re going a little bit nuts.

You’re not crazy. You’re hormonal. There’s a difference.

So I put together something I wish I had 5 years ago:
“10 Questions to Ask Your Doctor”

It’s short, succinct, and designed to help you get actual answers at your next appointment—or decide your current doctor isn’t who you need.

Whether you're curious about hormone therapy, frustrated with vague advice, or just tired of turning to Doctor Google in the middle of the night with an Oreo hanging out of your strangely dry mouth…this is for you, my beautiful friend.

📥 [Click here to download the sheet]

You deserve a doctor who listens and knows what’s up—or at least has enough control over their ego to send you to someone who does. Until med schools get their act together or corporate medical centers start handing out midlife decoder rings with your copay receipt, this is the next best thing.

Call for Submissions!

I’d like to start a monthly collection of community-based posts. This month’s topic: What’s the craziest thing your doctor has ever said to you? DM me your answers.

(You can choose to remain anonymous—just tell me not to publish your name).